Attacked by stuffed birds, the Sandman really does come to Kuwait, and other Stories.

     Every day, for many days now, I come home bent on blogging. It is my number one goal when I walk through the door after a long day at work. There is so much I have to say. So I make myself a cup of tea, laydown in bed with my trusty laptop...I think you see where this is going (it was the lay down in bed part that gottcha wasn't it), and fall asleep for at least two hours. Then after waking up and wiping the spit from my cheek and readjusting my hair I feel too much self-loathing to write anything and proceed to watch back to back episodes of some show I'm addicted to (last week it was The Walking Dead, before that Supernatural, and now it is whatever is new on Hulu as I have run out of episodes of my favorite shows). So let's raise a cup of tea to getting things done!

Today I came home, made some tea, and instead of getting in bed, plugged my laptop into the wall and I am sitting at a table...in the living room...and multi-tasking! I am so very proud of me. It has been so long since my last post I don't even know what I wrote about so I am just going to bullet point a few things.

• They say there are 4 stages of acculturation. When I say "they" I mean people who have actually researched this and written entire disertations on the subject (yawn). The first stage is the Euphoria stage. Everything is new and shiny and fun and adventurous and blah blah blah. Clearly I am out of that stage so let's move on. Stage 2 is Culture Shock and Alienation. In my case culture shock happened in stage 1 and has eased off quite a bit. I would call my stage 2 Alienation and Frustration- I am not simply shocked by the culture anymore...I sometimes find I am quite slack-jawed by it. Example:

Ms. Michele- Jassehammad (not a real name as far as I know but I feel like I say something like it several times a day as I have 3 students named Jassem and 3 students named Mohammed) is such a wonderful student. He is so smart and will do well.

Ms. Sharinahasma (again...I made it up...I think) Oh Shukran habiti Insha'Allah!

Ms. Michele- The whole school is collecting blankets for Syrian refugees in Turkey.

Ms. Sharinahasma- Is this for a mark? How many blankets for an A? I want for him to go to a good college Insha'Allah.

Ms.Michele- It is not going to affect his grade but if you can help out that would be wonderful.

Ms. Sharinahasma- Insha'Allah

Ms. Michele- Okay well...ma' salaam. Have a good day. I'll see you tomorrow Jassehammad.

Ms. Sharinahasma- Insha'Allah.

If I said "By the will of God" after every sentence in Los Angeles my only friends would be the Zeitgeist Organic farmers Jebidiah, Eziekiel, and Esther Blue Rain whose free love cult I belonged to.

Frankly, the term Insha'Allah is not used so much in a literal way. Most of the time the actual translation is "Maybe" or "LOL".

So um yeah...I am in the frustration stage. I don't feel at home here. What with the drivers who just keep driving often times just barely missing turning you into flat bread, the overpowering smell of Arab purfume, the snarky looks and smirks that accompany many transactions... I could go on but I'm too frustrated.

I also feel alienated and extremely homesick. I check Facebook obsesively for the smallest news, text friends who are in different time zones and never available to chat when I am, and constantly think about all of the things I miss back home like clean sidewalks, proper plumbing, great customer service, people out walking with their dogs, green trees, grass, my Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer Buttercup, my family, my friends, and blissfully blending in. In Los Angeles it is very difficult to be different because everyone is different. Here I am an "other" no matter what I do.

The other stages are Anomie or Culture Stress (which aparently is much better than culture shock) and finally acculturation. So seeing as how I have been here 2 months now, I should be acculturated about the time I pack up to go home. Which will bring on another stage...reverse culture shock. Yay.

I really didn't mean to go on this long...what happened to bullet points? I should write everyday. That would help.

Now on a much lighter note here is my second bullet point:

• All of the frustration and alienation has had a very strange effect on me. I am oddly much more confident with who I am as a person. Sure I am often cranky, lonely, and sad but let's face it...who isn't? We all have our good and bad days (unfortunately for my waistline there is an endless supply of chocolate here). Before I left L.A., people said this experience would change me, and (Nerd Alert) what they said is true, from a certain point of view (if you don't get the reference just go ahead and think I am brilliant). What seems to be even truer is that leaving home has made me more myself. I tried fitting in a little bit when I first arrived but as I stated before, no matter what I do, I am an exotic bird here. Something about being stared at constantly and talked about in Arabic which I am oddly beginning to comprehend, has brought out a steely internal confidence. The truth is, I am totally cool with who I am. Now that I have acknowledged this I am proudly letting my freak flag fly and guess what? People I meet think I am an interesting person. I have above all else in life always wanted to be fascinating. Boring has never been my thing. So for that I say Thank you Kuwait. But more than that, big ups to me for being so awesome.

And last but not least:

• I love teaching! It is the most exhausting, frustrating, heartbreaking, fullfilling thing I have ever done and I feel like I can be really good at it someday! Out of the 25 boys that I have, 20 of them are angels and the other 5 might put a gray streak in my hair. And even though every day (regardless of hours of planning) is a new adventure, I feel I am settling in and getting things done. It is really amazing to do something that I never wanted to do but felt called to do and discover that I really love it. I make tons of mistakes, I have moments of utter brilliance, improvisation and comedy have served me well as has my large voice and I finally get to use it in a drill sargeant roll. I have laughed and cried. I have been infuriated and had my heart swell with pride. Truly the hardest thing I have ever done, and I am so glad to be doing it.

So far on this adventure, I have sailed on yachts with both royalty and military, I have shopped, seen the most ostentatios wealth and the saddest poverty. I have danced at a ball and have a ticket to another one next month. And while I haven't seen a camel yet, I am leaving for Bahrain next Wednesday for Eid break so I will do whatever it takes to see one! I have met some amazing people and formed what I hope are lasting friendships and I have recieved hugs and love letters from my students which never gets old. Living here is hard but I am so glad I didn't let fear keep me from coming. In someways I wish I could get on the next plane home but as I am not a quitter, that will not happen. In closing here is a little true story:

My Mom and I have been talking on FaceTime and I knew she sent a care package a few weeks ago. I thought she sent it FedEx but instead she sent it with the US Postal Service. We had talked about what I wanted- Quinoa and Peet's Coffee. As per school instructions she mailed it to the school's address and I was anticipating its arrival. On Sunday I get a call from the office during one of my prep periods to come down to the office as I have recieved a package. Well I was pretty excited. I went down and discovered that a driver had to take me many miles away to the Kuwaiti Post Office at the Ministry of Information (not nearly as exciting as the Ministry of Magic but just as confusing). Kuwait is notorious for not getting packages to people and I have heard some horror stories including one about two big bags of mail discovered abandoned in the desert. Well chalk it up devine intervention (he must have known that I needed stuff from home) because the package was there and not damaged! The Kuwatis running the show wouldn't let me look in the box and the driver (who was nice but pushy) wouldn't let me carry it. Chivalry is nice when it is chivalrous but not when it is assumed that I am too much of a delicate flower to carry a box. I unloaded merchandise trucks at 5 am fueled only by an energy drink and a hangover when I worked in retail for goodness sake! So I sat anxiously in traffic as we headed back to school. As I looked out the window  at sandy streets and beige buildings a giant lump formed in my throat because something from home was here. As soon as we parked, I grabbed the box from the trunk and lugged it back to my classroom. Fortunately the boys were at recess so I had a moment alone. I looked inside the box and it was filled with bags of quinoa, a whole pound of Garuda Blend from Peet's, and an assortment of protein bars and Trader Joe's goodies along with some Halloween dish towels and back issues of the Hollywood Reporter. Well I just completely broke down right then and there. Heck, I'm crying right now just telling you about it. I held those towels to my face and they were soft and smelled like coffee and I just miss home and the people I love so much it is beyond profound. A care package is exactly that. It doesn't matter what is inside really. It's the fact that someone close to your heart sent it. It is quite honestly the sweetest gift I have ever recieved and that is saying something (the aforementioned Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer comes to mind). So there I am crying at my desk and one of my students (the one who has hair just like my nephew Micah) comes in (which he never does) and just starts talking to me about how he didn't want to play on the playground anymore. So I dried up quickly (best not to cry in front of a student) and we spent about 10 minutes straightening desks and chairs and just talking. Those famous "They" say that God works in mysterious ways. Well I say Amen to that because that care package came just in time...and so did my student.

I love you all,

Michele

PS... Next post from Bahrain!

 

Now who wants some pictures?

 

Anna Dello Russo H&M Launch at The Avenues Mall. Yes, that is a stuffed bird on my head.

 

Reading Week Parade: Here come the Sneetches!

My Horton's had a little trouble holding onto their Whos. I really can't find another way to say it. 

Thing 1 & 2 and one of the 2's was absent...how very like a Thing 2!

The Lorax speaks for the Trees!!

 

 

 

So yes, I was The Cat in the Hat

 

My first classroom birthday party experience. It was a major event.

 

 

I'd include pictures from the Embassy Ball (but we weren't allowed to take cameras in) and the Black and Gold Yacht party but...what happens on the Yacht, stays on the yacht.

 

 

Peace from the Middle East.