Tear drops and baby bunnies

Today I had my first good cry. I was looking at pictures on my computer for some family pictures to print out for the classroom and stumbled upon some video of my nephew on a solo carrousel ride about a year ago. At the time we couldn't tell if he was laughing or crying until we saw his face lit up in a huge smile. In the background you can hear my Mom, Sister and I laughing hysterically. The video is only a few minutes but it made me smile...then laugh...and well then I lost it. Before you say anything about how I need to toughen up or how it has only been eleven days (which in and of itself is crazy because it feels like at least a month) just know that this is the first time I have left for a long period of time. Realizing that I wasn't going home anytime soon to get a big hug from my little man really set the waterworks in motion.

 
The other issue is that while I have made some great friends over the past few days, I am here alone. I miss my family and I miss my friends. Skype and Facebook are great but they are not physical. I haven't had a hug in almost two weeks and I am a hugger folks! I pulled it together, put on my clothes, and while I had good intentions (yes those pesky things again) to go to the school and get some more work done, I decided to run some errands. So I spent the day on my own exploring more of the city.

 
For those of you who don't know, the week is Sunday through Thursday here and while everyday includes a lot of prayer, Friday's are the holy day. Many businesses shut down from 1pm to 4:30pm everyday but on Friday many of those businesses don't open at all until 4:30pm. So setting out at around noon, I went to Al Mohalab Mall in Hawally as I knew it was near Jarir Bookstore (I figured I should at least pick up some school supplies). Al Mohalab Mall, or “The Titanic” as many locals know it because it looks like the bow of a big ship, is not much to look at on the outside and I had already passed it several times on the way to school. However as with many things in Kuwait the inside is better than the outside. The mall is four levels of shops and cafes with the top level being saved for spas, health clubs and doctor's offices (or at least that's what it looked like from my vantage point). Some shops were open and all the coffee places were serving but the best part (aside from the AC) was the mall was mostly deserted. Unlike the insane evening crowds one finds at The Avenues, the few folks who were there were a mixed bag of Nationals and Expats and everyone was pleasant (well except for one shop clerk who had a sour face but I have decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean not all of us have been blessed with pleasant faces, or teeth, or senses of humor).

 
I ordered a blended coffee concoction from Caribou Coffee and sat in a cozy little leather chair next to a fireplace (did I mention that it was 116F outside?) which had a lovely little glow going. I cracked open my journal and got to writing. Those of you who know me know how rare this is. In fact, I haven't written in my journal since my flight overseas. Then, because I was feeling better, I decided that even though it was only 2:00pm and the Jarir Bookstore didn't open until 4:30 that I would go find it. I mean, why stay in a comfortably air conditioned mall when the scorching heat of the desert is waiting to be experienced outside? I took a cab a cab down the street (thanks Mr. Cabman for not mentioning that my destination was merely across the street and through a parking lot. Oh and thank you also for charging me a full dinar to go a few yards. Live and learn the famous “They” say.).

 
Jarir Bookstore is inside Hawally Park which is a theme park that starts hopping when the temperatures cool down a bit. So I thought to myself "Well you can't just sit here in the heat Michele. There must be somewhere around here where you can get coffee." Going back to Al Mohalab would have been the intelligent thing to do but I am an explorer so I went in a different direction (which is brilliant for a Westerner to do in 116F...seriously, sometimes I wonder if I should be teaching) and well there were a bunch of buildings with closed shops lining the streets.

 
There was an electronics shop open and I went in but their AC wasn't working! By this point I could feel pools of sweat collecting in the small space between my belt and my back. They did have fans blowing though so I spent a little time pretending to be a SLR camera expert in order to stand near the cooling air. Eventually I just went back to Hawally Park, found a bench in the shade near a fan with mist, and played Angry Birds for an hour waiting for the bookstore to open. It really wasn't that bad. I met a nice British lady who helped pass the time and then oh joy of joys the bookstore opened! I don't know if I have ever been so happy to walk into a place! Not only was ice cold air surrounding every bead of sweat on my body, the place is filled with art supplies, office supplies, and books. Oh heaven! I purchased the supplies I needed for the classroom and then I got selfish. I bought myself a sketch book and some great charcoal pencils. Let the sketching begin!

 
On my way out I took some pictures of some odd little novelty shops. My favorite one was called Strange Birds and Ornamental Fish. They sell baby bunnies wearing little dresses and neon dyed baby chicks as well as what I can only imagine are Strange Birds and Ornamental Fish. It's all the rage among the 10 and under Hello Kitty set.

 
Finally I hopped in another cab which not only had plastic lined seats and was very clean but the driver tuned the radio to an english speaking station that was pumping out a really great remix of an Adele song. His name is Housin and he is from Bangladesh. His English was pretty good and he let me set the price. Yes there are heroes in the world. I got his number as he is my new go to guy. Everyone who doesn't have a car here has a good Taxi guy or two programmed into their phones.

 
All in all it was a good day. I ventured out on my own and managed to deal effectively with the pain I have in my heart. Best cure for loneliness is to stay busy. Of course...because it's me, I'm back home alone playing sad songs. The only way to get through something is to let yourself go through it. I am going to put a kettle on for some tea and eat my take out left overs (brilliant thing here is that all restaurants deliver). Perhaps I'll do a little lesson planning, a little sketching, another Gossip Girl marathon on Netflix (Don't judge me), or all of the above.

 
To my Family and Friends, knowing that I am not coming home or seeing you for a while is really difficult. I miss you and value you now more than ever. I’m sure it’s going to get harder as time passes but please don't worry. I am amazed by all I see and continue to find beauty and laughter wherever I go. I love you all and you are in my daily thoughts and prayers. This place is wild and different and now I know what it is like to be the foreigner...it is making me a stronger person and challenging me in ways I didn't expect. When you find yourself feeling a little down for whatever reason, know that there is someone very far away who is thinking about you and counting the days until she can hug you again. No matter what ocean or desert separates us, none of us are truly alone. That thought is what is keeping me going.

Now for some pictures of baby bunnies, colorful chicks, and other Kuwaiti novelties to cheer me up…Enjoy!


Masaa el kheer